The Story of Me or The Story I tell me?

I’ve been mulling this over for quite some time. Pondering what story means; how we make it, why it serves us; what purpose it holds in the larger story at play. Story is such a unique and personalized component of our lives. Each of us, EVERY single one of us is simultaneously drafting, editing, honing, confirming, reinforcing the story we have of ourselves. That inner voice we all listen to, give our perspective over to, is there to craft the most intricate, enmeshed, involved story we can come up for ourselves. All to answer that ‘why’: why is any of this shit happening to me? Why do I have to go through, experience, be a part of any of this shit going on around me? We are all meaning makers, we all strive to know the meaning of anything we experience. We all look at something and wonder to some degree: what has that to do with me? Making meaning of interactions is something I’ve grown to understand is a necessary process that our brains do. Automatically. So, whether you are rife with existential concerns or not, every one of us has a brain that NEEDS to make meaning. Our brains need far more certainty than we would probably be aware of. It’s the reason why we get into patterns. Patterns with anything and everything we experience. I know I’ve walked away from many interactions I’ve had in particular environments stating some sort of categorical statement: yup, happens every time I go to the DMV. This is the reason I avoid crowds. Why do all women say that? Why do all men do that? What’s wrong with him/her/them? Our brains need far more certainty and to achieve more certainty our brain will create some connection to a pre-established pattern. To our brain, more certainty equals more safety. And the more safe I am, the more likely I’m going to be around tomorrow. And that is our brain’s main objective: navigate all the chaos the outside world holds so that I can wake up tomorrow and still be breathing.

And, one thing I find to be most inspired is when a client I’m working with asks a version of this question: “If this is my story, then how do I tell it differently?”